The omen’s curse

Damien learnt from his dad when he was young.

Money equals power, it stands above everyone.

Do what you need to do.

Never leave anyone alive to tell a tale.

Stick by these rules, you will not fail.

Dad had to go though, dead in a bloody violent end.

Damien saw it all.

Cremation, ashes to ashes blown away in the wind.

Mum struggling in an unforgiving environment.

Evil waiting to devour the weak.

Any weakness shown was quickly exploited.

Mum could just not say no to the drugs.

Damien saw how this was exploited.

His path was dark, no light and no love.

No friends, no childhood.

He was told it was just tough luck.

His only comfort was the retreat in his mind.

Here anything was possible.

Here he could survive.

He watched and observed a distorted way of life.

If people fear you they are showing true love.

Was his corrupted thought.

Money was love and anything else it bought.

He met his only friend, that was a voice in his head.

Always showing him a way to get respect.

He could fight anyone,.

Fight anyone until they were dead.

By time he was a teenager his mum was gone.

Chasing a dragon that bit back saw her end.

Now there was only him and his friend.

He had to protect himself.

No weaknesses, no empathy, no love.

No one was going to stop him.

From becoming what he was destined to become.

His friend would guide him and said Damien would be his son.

All he had to do, is what had to be done.

It had to be his choice, this life.

Rags to riches, do anything to survive.

Gratuitous violence would lead him to fame.

Money, notoriety and a celebrity street fame.

Anything he touched money would come his way.

Nothing was beyond him.

Nothing could stand in his way.

Murder was just the beginning.

Never looking back, no emotion, never guessing.

Continually creating a dark path.

His friend told him you are truly your father’s son.

My work here is done.

It is time for me to move on.

So Damien is on his own, with no understanding of what is going on.

Behind him on the dark path that he lay.

Demons lay in wait.

Waiting for a mistake.

Whilst on one of his jobs.

Doing people wrong.

His eyes crossed path with the eyes of a boy.

This boy kneeling on the floor.

His dying dad’s hand in his.

Damien had just slaid another victim in his way.

But this time he saw a reflection in the boys eyes.

Looking back at him.

He could not believe his eyes.

His friend who had lied, plotted behind his back all this time.

He saw the devil in that boys eyes.

Scenario just like when his dad died.

Cold rippled through his skin.

He realized he had let the devil in.

Bang was the sound.

Burning pain as he fell to his knees.

His life flashed before him.

All the pain and misery was his history.

Light started to dim.

This young kid started to grin.

Too late to realise.

His soul was no longer his.

The story must begin again.

New Year

New year of the calendar has begun.

Time to rid myself of my own born fears.

Time has gone.

Time to still be real.

Time be cleansed like I am reborn.

Never one to blow my own trumpet.

But now is the time.

Blowing my own horn like it is the horn of Rosh ha – Shanah.

Crazy how the years have gone.

Crazy how I SUFFERED IN THE DARK.

Crazy still how I did not lose my mind.

Crazy how,  no one never felt the wrath of the dark side.

But I beat my ill feelings down.

Like a Tyson right hook then kicked them whilst they were still down.

Shit it did the same to me.

It used to control the game.

But how can you douse a fire that burns so strong.

Time has showed me that I belong.

My girl has shown me where I belong.

My heart has shown me that I am still strong.

My words still flow, makes me want to beat my chest like King Kong.

Time of the dead has long gone.

Still I take what it taught me.

Still I will watch for it trying to take me.

So now my concentration.

Can be focused on the things that made me.

Negativity dead on arrival.

Subdued, no longer able to sway me.

So much to give, without be chained down.

Allowed to drive into the light.

I may have a few engine problems.

But now I can fix my mind.

So no longer can I tell myself NO, it cannot be done.

Nothing is impossible, nothing at all.

So I am going to get to where I belong.

I can now look around.

What I see does not get me down.

Something is really wrong with the world.

Could I be wrong?

But this is my new year.

My new age.

Now refocused and ready for anything to try and prove me wrong.

My strength, born in the darkness and the dread.

Ready to ascend into the light.

All that strength growing into positivity.

It will blow like a nuclear bomb.

But love will will spread the light.

My new year.

My time to rise and shine.

I understand now that when the sun sets.

It is not the end of the light.

It is the lights way to be reborn.

Stay true

I used to wonder why I go through the things I go through
Never understood why I think, the things I do.
Darkness and cold was what I was used to.
Natural chemicals in my brain not working.
My mind not working.
My body not working.
Only death would seem to work.
Blood and tears were a regular thing.
Twisted philosophy of my own demise.
Arguing for longevity.
Just to get through the storm.
Lost my job.
Lost my mind.
Lost my spark.
Found my hell.
Not a crack head, nothing I could shoot would ease the flames.
Scarring my body, my mind, my soul.
No easy way out.
Lost in a maze of nightmares.
No easy turn.
Every corner there was something waiting to make me fall.
But sink or swim.
I had to fight.
Learn how to protect my sanity.
Lose my stubborn pride.
Ask for help.
Put it all on the line.
No more lying to myself.
I am such a mess.
But to fight is one thing I know I do well.
But that is the place I found myself.
Like a child being born.
Vulnerable.
My biggest fear.
But I swore I would never be that way again.
There goes my pride again, playing mind games.
So I fell on my sword.
To embrace what I fear to help start over.
This should not happen to anyone I look out for.
It should not happen to anyone that I am opposed to.
To think otherwise would be playing into that game again.
Somewhere that I am not going to go to.
So what I have I learnt.
Through all the shit I have gone through.
Stay true to you.
You will find a way through.